Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
