Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
