Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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