I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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