I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
