Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
