remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
