She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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