so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
