normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
