So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
