Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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