good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
