hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have demons in me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Is it penis luge time yet?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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