dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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