Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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