she looked like the before picture.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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