We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
