porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
