Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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