It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
