marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
