I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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