we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
