Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
