Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
