I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
