my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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