just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
