u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
