I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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