nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
