After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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