sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
