I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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