Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
