Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
A+ Viking dick
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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