Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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