six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she smelled like a LAN party
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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