he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You took a bar mat shot.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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