On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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