therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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