VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
