They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
