I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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