you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
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