oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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