i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
50% drunk capacity currently
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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