Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
