i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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