i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
